[Coladam] poem 2014 - the sequel

Ron Mitchell mitch99 at telus.net
Tue Dec 30 19:25:22 CET 2014

Bound and determined to get this thru one way or another. 



A year later.......

It was only just a year ago
That Santa surprised most
Of the good folk of Toronto
By assisting Canada Post

The business was remembered
By witnesses first hand
As a case of corporate entity
With its head stuck in the sand

An ADAM was delivered
Using methods not approved
With aeronautical magic
That got the product moved

But as the details faded
The tale became obscure
Just exactly how it happened,
Not a soul could say for sure.

As Santa watched events unfold
He could not help but laugh
A report produced by postal corp
Cited problems with its staff

Wild parties at the airport
Had distorted what was seen
The aircraft had not stopped at all
The sleigh had never been
Anywhere near the runway
On the day and time described
And what the staff had seen was due
To what they had imbibed

The matter thus was laid to rest
Left Santa slightly choked
They can't dismiss it just like that,
They're idiots, these folk.

In conference with his reindeer
And assisted by his elves
A course of planned sculduggery
To clear all toys from shelves
Was hatched in time for Christmas
To affect all stores and malls
From Trenton to Toronto
Mississauga to Niagara Falls 

Santa brought all this about
Two weeks before the day
Just as thousands of frenzied shoppers
Crammed the stores - and willing to pay
He twitched his nose and said some words
To bring on his surprise
Toy staff along the lakefront
Just could not believe their eyes

Shelves at Wal Mart, Toys'r'Us
And Treasure Island Toys
All were emptied, nothing there
For all the girls and boys

Commercial interests shook their fists
And wanted something done
The Grinch who did this, so they claimed,
Is out there on the run
Our bottom line's in jeopardy 
Without the toys, we fear
We'll not survive the slump in sales
We will not make our year.

There are those of us too big to fail
But this could bring it on
And the city's small niche outlets
Will be bankrupt, broke and gone

All we had was brought from Asia
By ships in months gone by
We cannot now replace it,
We're on 'just-in-time' supply

As the days drew down to Christmas
No one knew quite what to do
Policemen searched the streets in vain
And lawyers had no clue.

City councils east and west
Debated through each night
But an answer quite escaped them
They just couldn't get it right

And Santa watched the mayhem
From his workshop in the ice
He concluded that his little trick
Was probably not nice

And with chuckling and smirking
He gave direction to the elves
Ok you guys, get working,
Put some ADAM's on the shelves.

Stock the media with commercials,
Tell them all what's to be said
Command the powers of ADAM
Make it so in everyone's head.

The adults will all remember
How in 1984
They were busy playing "Head to Head"
When ADAM came through the door.

The world would change forever
For followers world wide
That great big box beneath the tree
Years of pleasure locked inside.

The kids complained, what is this thing?
Eighty K, hey! Is that all?
You cannot type your name in that,
Take it back, NOW, to the mall.

No touch screen, where's the camera?
No internet, no cell?
How come we can't do voice control
This keyboard's straight from hell

As this sad imagined picture
Took its shape in Santa's head
He couldn't stand the turmoil
Put it back, was all he said

Be sure that they don't see it 
They'll think it's all just fine
I'll make it so they can't recall
This silliness of mine

So Christmas came and Christmas went
And shoppers in the malls
From Trenton to Toronto, 
Mississauga to Niagara Falls
All went about their business
Believing government was good
That Canada Post could do no wrong
Believe all that?  We should.

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